I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize