We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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