She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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