Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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