Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
