Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
