Do you still have your period?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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