Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
