No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize