If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
