We got so high we made milksteak
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize