sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
