roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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