Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
