Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
