i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i need some magic done to my vagina
Such a big mess for such a small penis
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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