Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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