5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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