So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize