"it" just moved
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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