so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
