Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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