Tell her she can't have a vagina
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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