and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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