Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
