What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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