there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
