At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
