I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
