Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
