I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
