We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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