You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
