no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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