We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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