Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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