so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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