I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
