he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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