Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he told me I talked like a deaf person
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
