come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
