The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
