We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
