I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
