i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
