You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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