Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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