Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
