come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
