I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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