put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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