So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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