why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
