Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
