u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Randomize
