yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
