The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
