Porn is love you can see.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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