Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize