dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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