You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
