Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
