Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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