I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
