girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
