Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
