do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
