the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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