How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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